Arnie Marks
Arnie Marks was born in 1942 in Chicago during World War Two, when his father was serving stateside in the military. He grew up on the city's West Side, then in Albany Park, living for a time with his mother's parents alongside his mom, dad, and younger sister. His grandparents were Eastern European immigrants from The Pale of Settlement, and his father had come to America from Russia as a young boy of six or seven. Arnie remembered his parents as easygoing, happy people who taught him to be content with what he had, and recalled a childhood of school, baseball on gravel fields, swimming, and visits to Riverview Park.
The family moved to Evanston around 1959 or 1960, where Arnie swam competitively at Evanston Township High School. He attended the University of Illinois, discovering a passion for psychology and family dynamics while working as a camp counselor at a camp in the Lake Delavan area of Wisconsin. He met his wife Ellen, also from Chicago, when she visited the sorority house where he worked as a waiter, and they married in 1966. As an obligatory volunteer during the Vietnam era, he served three years as an officer in the Army Medical Service Corps at William Beaumont Hospital, Fort Bliss, in El Paso, working with young recruits adjusting to military life. He later held a fellowship at the Menninger Foundation in Kansas and directed outpatient services at a community mental health center in Philadelphia, where his two children were born.
Drawn back to the warmth of the Southwest, Arnie moved his family to Dallas in 1976 to become director of Jewish Family Service, a Federation constituent agency. He was recruited to help meet the challenge of resettling Soviet Jewish immigrants, offering language classes, employment help, counseling, and volunteer support, and he worked to involve the whole community rather than a single agency. He viewed the effort as helping build the Dallas Jewish community itself, and considered it deeply rewarding. He left Jewish Family Service in 1992 to pursue other work. Arnie went on to serve with the Defense Department and responded to crises including Hurricane Katrina and the Ebola situation at a Dallas hospital, and he has remained a dedicated advocate for veterans. He and Ellen were approaching their 50th anniversary, with two children and four grandchildren, and his advice to the next generation is to follow their passion and provide service to others.
Full Transcript
irony 1942 Chicago Illinois back just tell me what was going on in Chicago when you were a little boy well there was a war on there's a world war on gonna at that time my dad was away for part of that time when I was young kid we grew up on the west side of Chicago which is where the Jewish community was sort of huddled at that time and I had an opportunity to go to school on the west side for a number of years at the time we were living with my mother's parents so I was I grew up with my mom and my
dad and my younger sister and my grandma and grandpa yeah and did that until I was about seven or eight years old and we finally moved out on her own was your dad in the war in World War two he was he he didn't deploy he was he spent all this time here in the States actually and he was in for a couple years I think from 42 to 45 I think something like that now what did your dad do for a living when you moved to Evanston my dad was always in sales yeah yeah I'm gonna use in sales you know tell me about
your grandparents my grandparents are Eastern European born in and the country of origin depends upon what year they were born in because it's called The Pale of Settlement in the Eastern Europe so it could have been Poland that could have been Romania it could have been Russia but most of them were born in the Eastern European Pale of Settlement came here I think my fact my father was born in Russia as well my father was born in a town in I think it's close geometer in in Russia as well so I have Eastern European roots that go back a long way right right and what
I remember most about my grandparents because they were retired at the time when we lived there was that they seemed to have a lot of time on their hands to sit and talk and visit whatever well we were always rushing off to school or doing homework and doing something that they were just always around and wanted to talk and visit yeah yeah did your dad ever talk about that trip coming to the United States my dad was seven years old I have a picture in my house of my dad when he's six years old with his parents you know wearing a Russian garb and big
rush Hatt and his parents with a big Russian stuff one clan he talked very little about his background or experience I don't think you remember very much because I think it was six or seven when he came over here ya know as you know your grandparents on your dad's side my grandmother passed away before I was born on my dad's side I knew my my dad's father a little bit he was a little bit distant we didn't live with that side of the family and so I didn't see him as often didn't have a particularly close relationship with my dad's father so you never got
to hear the stories about their travels they come here what brought them here you know you know okay okay and tell me about your mom I I think about my mom in terms of not just my mom but my mom and my dad people ask me all the time why I'm a happy guy and someone I tell because my folks were just basically happy folks plain vanila uncomplicated be happy with what you have not what you don't have so we were never folks with great means but my dad always made a living I always got a chance to go to camp do what I wanted
to do it's always food on the table and what I remember most of all about my mom and dad was that was just easy to live in their household yeah yeah so you were a young kid about 7 you said when you moved to Evanston we moved in North we moved actually to Albany Park first okay in Albany Park another Jewish community in Chicago area yeah do you remember the elementary school you went to of course I do Hibbert Hibbert Hibbert school yeah yeah what was life like at Hibbert easy uncomplicated the most important thing was not the slide and when you're playing baseball because
it was a gravel field what was the grass field no those are those were their worries we had back then with that kind of stuff you remember Riverview of course Riverview Park sure sure sure you know there's a Bob's which was the huge roller coaster I think sure yeah yeah and you get to stay on it with another dime you didn't have to you know I think that's true I think that's true yeah yeah well tell me about the move to Evanston what was that like for you you're young kid you're giving up friendships and you're what wasn't wasn't that difficult I don't think we
moved there 1959-1960 I think I didn't have too much difficulty making friends Evanston Township but at that point I was already thinking about what I was going to do after high school so a lot of that year was spent in college prep stuff and so on my swam for the high school a little bit of Evans had a very good swimming team I was a swimmer competitive swimmer so that's how I was able to make friends and of course back then we didn't know about the cliques the other geeks and the freaks in the straights and the socials ropers the dopers the Goths and so
on I was one of the jocks I guess back then yeah now growing up in the Chicago area curse with all the sport teams were you interested in the very much so yeah we had a group of guys we played basketball on a regular basis we used to play it Eugene Field on Sunday morning and whenever we could I didn't play for my high school team but I played a lot of intramural basketball and stuff like that touch football know what kind of you care about the pro teams at all oh yeah yeah I was always I was a little bit of an outlier because
actually I was a White Sox fan when I was younger well we lived north and so most of the folks were Cub fans yeah of course I was a Bears fan Blackhawks things like that the only games I went to on a fairly regular basis were court Cup games because they were closed and they were on the north side we didn't know the White Sox game sorry often now in 1945 was the last time the Cubs were in a World Series do you remember that at all you do not you were three do not yeah okay okay I hear the stories I hear the curse
of the Billy Goat like it I hear you know the Bartman stories that all that stuff but you know it was all before my dad yeah well they're doing good this year they're doing very well this year actually yeah so here at Evanston and you're thinking about life after high school in meetings so what are you thinking I'm not sure exactly what I'm thinking I was an undergraduate I was interested I was never interested in math and science I was always interested in people and people want to know I'm a psychologist people don't know how I got interested in psychology and family dynamics and things
like that and I tell them the story when I was in maybe a freshman in college I worked as a camp counselor at Camp shy one of the camps and Lake Delavan in Wisconsin Dells and we had these kids you know for four to six weeks of residential camping and most of the kids got along fine there's always a few kids who were having difficulties or you know scapegoated themselves and things like that and so but we worked it through and then we decided to something very unique this is 1960 now so think about that it's a long time ago we decided to do something
when camp was over we invited the parents to come up for a weekend called the family camping so the families would go on hay rides and make some mores and things like that and so that was a fun experience but all of a sudden when I saw these kids were already outliers already then I saw them with their parents and engaged with their parents a light bulb went on I said oh now I understand why this young man is like this or what he does those kind of things and I see the way the interaction between the parents I said there's something about this stuff
right and so that's what I'm particularly interested in psychology mental health and that's really been my background Wow Wow so where did you go to cut or did you go to the military after high school no no I went to the University of Illinois okay I went there for four years follow the Fighting Illini we had winning teams back then went to the Rose Bowl 1963 while I was down there won the Rose Bowl and then in 1919 64 this was during the beginning of course at Vietnam stuff and I had a ref number I got a deferment to go into graduate school I went
and did my graduate work up in Chicago and then upon finishing up my graduate work then I was it's not drafted it's called an obv an obligatory volunteer that is you can go in two years as a private first class you know or you can go in three years as an officer I said count me and I'll be it I'll be a captain for three years you know so how did that affect you as a young kid knowing that you you were going to have to go into the service do you feel like you were putting your life on hold was there a fear of
Vietnam it wasn't so much about putting your life on hold it was certainly the terror of combat in Vietnam and that was a very ever-present you know concern even when I was an active duty the the solution seemed to be just lay low not make any waves and not create any kind of visibility about yourself just do your job know your job do your job that's military lingo right now you were interested in psychology and everything did you read anything into back then and you know you know the the guys that were going off to Nam or guys didn't want to be in the ward
were you seeing any comparisons well yeah I think certainly there was a it was a difficult time for our country it was a time of great unrest there was a lot of concern about our involvement in the war there was a lot of protesting and college campuses were you know very active with anti-war activity and things like that and so I knew there was a lack of support if you will for the warrior as well as for the war and I recall when I was in uniform oftentimes I get scowled at or the case in people would cause baby killers and things like that because
we were serving in the military yeah in fact I continued to work with veterans you know to this day in my in my professional activity and among the populations we have the most difficulty connecting up with is my generation of warriors the Vietnam War is because they were never valued they were never appreciated they were never welcomed back home so one of the things that were able to do now is with all of our OEM and oh I F which is Afghan and Iraqi veterans as they get welcomed home we are including now the Vietnam era veterans and they're getting thanked and welcomed home for
the first time and so we're starting to see more positive movement from that generation of warriors know your service where were you stationed and what were you doing I was at William Beaumont Hospital and Fort Bliss in El Paso Texas and I was working almost exclusively with young recruits who are having difficulty readjusting really adjusting to military life and so we would provide brief solution focused problem-solving for them helped the commander's work with their difficult troops and things like that yeah yeah now did you want to stay in Texas then after your service well is interesting because I I grew up in a Chicago area
and we're accustomed to Chicago winters okay here I was in El Paso Texas in November came in December and January I look up the sun is shining at 70 degrees I say what's the deal here he says son you're in Texas now I said these folks are onto something and so at that point I made a decision that at some point we would come back to the southwest if not Texas at least we'd be somewhere in the southwest where it was warm most of the time so I left El Paso in 1969 their postgraduate fellowship at the Menninger foundation in Kansas on psychiatric treatment if
you will and then I spent the next six years from there in Philadelphia as director of outpatient services of a community mental health center part of a medical school in Philadelphia now let's go back for a minute what was it when you were a kid that you used to do that you would just die if you knew your parents found out I [Music] never smoked I wasn't smoking didn't didn't cut school probably play doctor with the girls yeah you remember getting your first car oh sure sure was it Renault Dauphine it was an old car used car and I remember it broke down on the
Dan Ryan Expressway right after I got it sure after that yeah yeah how much you paid for that car Oh probably $600 or something like that you think you've changed indeed indeed tell me when you met Ellen I met Ellen as a I was a junior at University of Illinois she was a freshman again we were not a particularly wealthy family and so I worked my way through college as a waiter I was a waiter at a sorority house and so we always got a chance to get the best cuts of meat and we always ate first before the girls and then we'd serve 4050
gals and Ellen was invited as a guest one night to be there and then sorority so I met her then and I think I don't think I invited her out that time but I think shortly thereafter I bumped into her somewhere on campus invited her we went out on a date and that was sort of the beginning of our romance yeah yeah when did you get married 1966 okay so was she out of college yeah yeah so you and Ellen get married where do you settle down and what are you doing well we got married in 66 and then we got invited the United States
government to come to William Beaumont Hospital in El Paso Texas at Fort Bliss over our first three years of marriage were as a young captain and Medical Service Courtney army yeah now where was Owen from also Chicago but she was a gal from Southside South Shore area in fact it was very easy to date her when I was in University of Illinois because you know we lived near each other and it was real convenient when we went home for spring break or summer time I lived far north in Evanston she lives in South Shore I tell folks it was easier to marry her and they
keep dating her driving up but back from the south side the north side stuff like when you guys go down to Beaumont through the culture shock at all yeah it was two things really one was the military itself there's a culture shock it's a parallel universe and the second thing of course is El Paso Texas it doesn't look anything like Chicago right yeah but the good news is we had a lot of friends very close friends because keep in mind the military is a very tight bonded universe and specifically I was friends with most of the other physician types you know who were also in
the same boat I was they were not career military people they just wanted to serve their two years most of them were drafted or the army had some very plan which allowed them to go finish their residency but then in turn they owed the military two or three years I think as well so that's what our friends we had some very good close friends we developed you know things like book clubs and gourmet clubs and things like that in order to sort of bring a little bit of culture to the desert Southwest what brought you to Dallas what brought me to Dallas was I was
working as a director of outpatient services community mental health in Philadelphia and one day it rained it snowed its lead 'add and it hailed all in one day in Philadelphia and I said Ellen you know our kids were real little and I think they were five and two or something like that I said remember those days we had fondly in in Texas the weather was great this time of year why don't we think about going back to the southwest and so I made a decision to go back to the southwest and I put in resumes and a half a dozen half a dozen different cities
everywhere from Atlanta on the east to Albuquerque on the west and everything in between I was just committed to coming to this part of the country and I got an invitation to apply for a position here as a director of Jewish Family Service came down for the interview and was offered an opportunity to come down here we moved our family down here in 1976 where were your kids born my kids were born in Philadelphia both of them okay both born in Philadelphia okay tell me about life with Jewish family services Jewish Family Service was one of the Federation constituent agencies and so I was intimately
involved in the in the Dallas Jewish community and I was specifically recruited to help assist organizationally with the the newest challenge that we were facing which is basically the influx of Soviet Jews that were coming to America at that point we had a comprehensive agency that offered counseling services services elderly adoption services a very active volunteer program and several years later we integrated with and took over the vocational component as well so we were a fairly comprehensive agency offer a full range of clinical services how hard was that for you with these people coming here really some were they need well one of the things
I learned early on it's a Chinese proverb a good leader when his job is done the people will say we did this ourselves and and I was driven by that that view and that is that there was a tremendous amount of work that needed to be done and I was always of the opinion that these were not our Soviet Jews in terms of Jewish Family Service but our Soviet Jews in terms of the Dallas Jewish community we had to get it outside of the silo mentality that only this agency was responsible so we had a much broader approach in terms of involving other community organizations
agencies tremendous number of volunteers physicians dentists we had to recruit a tremendous range of folks English as a second language teachers things like that so in many ways the the process of serving Soviet Jews helped our community find its own identity and build its own sense of accomplishment and feel good about what they were doing I think we were not only building the Soviet command we were building our own Dallas Jewish community and in the process I think that was a very important experience that we had for those 10 or 15 years about everyone was involved you know with a sort of a greater purpose
to take care of a significant population we as a community and again the Federation organizes its Dallas Jewish communities based on size of Jewish population we're somewhere in neighborhood about 55,000 I think something like that and so we were considered an intermediate sized community we took more than our fair share of Soviet Jews as an intermediate sized community because one we our community wanted to you know I think partly was because there's a strong Eastern European flavor to the community and so there's an identity with that population but also I think there's a lot of feel good experiences about what we were doing to help
so you know serve that population so I think we help build our own community as well as the Soviet immigrant community in the process very rewarding for yourself I would tremendously so in terms of having an impact on a significant part of American Jewish history is a resettlement of course we are a nation of immigrants my parents were my father in particular was an immigrant from Eastern Europe but our entire Jewish community in Americas was immigrants we came from someplace else whether it was you know Spain and Morocco early on or Germany in the 1850s or Eastern Europe in the 1910 1915 population and then
it was fairly quiet for a while and in the 50s and 60s there were a few more folks that came from Spain or whatever view from Cuba but then the big push came from Eastern Europe in 1976 the 1985 or so hundreds of thousands of Soviet Jews were we're leaving they're allowed to leave they were either going to Israel or some were coming to America and those were coming to America we assisted in the resettlement process yeah yeah is there a story that you could tell us without you know breaking any confidentiality oh sure I think the the biggest challenge we had was the cultural
differences with growing up in the Soviet Union which is a socialist country very different than a free enterprise country like America so it was not uncommon for us again keep in mind we had the responsibility for the full range of service beginning with English as a second language without language you had no opportunity to unlock the key to this culture so we would would encourage them to take the language classes we encouraged them to watch TV specifically cartoons which are tender repetitive and fun and humor they pick up language that way then after language would be some sort of employment oftentimes the employment would be
they would consider themselves underemployed because everybody thought they were a professional you know and whatever in Soviet Union but more than anything because it was a socialist state we'd oftentimes have people come to our office let's say a shoemaker and he would complain to us that he doesn't have any business and I said well you have to do good work and quality work and people will talk about that well he said where I worked in the Soviet Union you know I had a certain neighborhood that was my responsibility to be a shoemaker for that neighborhood everybody was required to come to me as a shoemaker
that's the difference between socialism and free enterprise if you will yeah there are those kind of stories about that they had no idea about American conveniences it was not uncommon for us to get a call from a landlord you know your Russians are trying to steam fish in a dishwasher things like that you know so so we had a lot of those kind of interesting stories you ever hear from some of the families occasionally occasionally I left 1992 to go pursue other activities but we can't bump into them and its really very rewarding to know that I had a part our community had a part
in sort of helping them get settled in this country and giving them an opportunity for the American dream once again yeah yeah yeah no that's great an invention in your lifetime it's something come along that you said how did we ever get along without that I don't ever get along without that telephone and one of the things that I've had to appreciate you specifically in terms of a management responsibilities the different ways we have to communicate and that is they want to contact me or you then use a landline and say Arne are you available you know Scott are you available if you want to
talk to another generation a younger generation you would have to email them and that's the way you would correspond with them there's another generation if you don't call them on the cell phone that won't respond to anything and there's still a younger generation if you don't text them you have no way of communicating with them so it's sort of an appreciation about the different levels of how you have to communicate with people from a psychological standpoint is this all healthy the way people communicate now by not talking to each other now I think it's particularly unhealthy I think it doesn't allow people to develop social
skills problem-solving skills critical thinking I think if you notice people sitting down in restaurants and they're sitting there looking at their you know phones and they're texting oftentimes they're texting each other and things like that so they look I think they've lost the skill of conversation and of interaction and engagement things like that I think that's been a real consequence of the you know new technology I mean your life wherever I'm at at the time I really believe that I've been blessed with good health my family's been blessed with good health and we just appreciate wherever we're at whenever we're doing something that there have
been very few bad times with one exception my wife had a very serious illness about 35 years ago that we were able to weather that but apart from that we've been very fortunate happy we travel a lot and I love whatever I'm doing wherever I'm at as I mentioned if you follow your passion you never feel like you're working you always feel like you're engaged in life and that's how I felt I've lived my life that's right passionate about what I do in your lifetime you've lived through so many remarkable events some good some not so good of course the Vietnam era that you talked
about me President Kennedy assassination indeed something good the moon landing in 69 for the first time tragedy of 9/11 was there something on the national scene that you remember and you go I know exactly where I was the moment had happened oh there are many many certainly certainly I remember the JFK England 63 when I was a junior at University of Illinois and remember that very specifically the moon landing I remember where I was at the moon landing but I've also been fortunate to have some very unique experiences I had a chance to work with the Defense Department for less 15 20 years serving the
military and so I was at Hurricane Katrina were celebrating the 10 year not celebrating memorializing the 10 year anniversary of the Hurricane Katrina it was in the middle of Hurricane Katrina assisting people in the dealing of the aftermath of the hurricane there just six months ago I was involved with Presbyterian Hospital here and I was dispatched on the crisis team to be there for the Ebola crisis I was there for a month and so those are sort of signature events that I've had a chance to do so whether this resettlement of Soviet Jews whether it has to do with you know working with Ebola working
with the tragedy of the hurricanes I've always had a chance to have these sort of unique sort of experiences you also do a lot of work with veterans indeed indeed what have you have found from the you know is there a difference in veterans from different wars without question without question you know Tom Brokaw who wrote a book The Greatest Generation which is the world war two folks we never as a country asked much of them about their story we were just grateful for them there was tremendous amount of support one of the things people don't understand and appreciate is that close to 10% of
our nation was involved with the Second World War whether it was actively involved but everybody was involved in terms of making sacrifices whether it was rationing sugar coffee gasoline everyone participated in that and that was very different than for our Vietnam era warriors where there was a great deal of dissent about whether we should be at war not be at war and indeed what happened was that there was a there was not a capacity of our nation to make a differentiation between the war and the warrior so there was a lot of disdain and expressed towards the Warriors and a lot of unhappiness as a
result of that fast forward now to our most recent experience in last 10 years and with Iraq and Afghanistan wars there still may be some dissent about our engagement in the war but there's no dissent about support for the Warriors very very different there's a reservoir in a sea of goodwill that's out there in terms of caring for our veterans of the current generation yeah yes you and Ellen getting ready to celebrate your 50th anniversary we are indeed from the time we taped this you have the two children together and four grandkids what advice does granddad have for the next generation I think the most
important thing is to follow your passion in life I think it's to be happy but to provide service to others I'm never happier than when I'm providing service to other people I happen to be in a kind of profession allows me to do that or I can make people's lives better for one reason or another and that gives me a tremendous amount of satisfaction so if you can follow your passion provide service to the community I think that will bring you the kind of happiness much more than just material wealth Ernie thanks for doing this today you did a great job I appreciate it Thanks
thank you very much you