Esme Jacobson
Esme was born in 1953 in Johannesburg, South Africa, and remembers a free and happy childhood despite her parents' unhappy marriage. When she was about three, her father lost his hearing completely, and Esme became one of the few people he could lip-read, serving as his interpreter for much of her life. Her father worked in distribution for a South African pharmaceutical company, and her mother worked for decades as a bookkeeper for a paint company. Her family roots traced to Russia and Lithuania, and she treasured Saturday visits with her maternal grandparents. She had a younger brother, Leonard, who died in a motorcycle accident in 1985.
Esme attended public schools where many of her classmates were Jewish, and her family was traditional and kosher, always gathering for the holidays. She met her husband Errol at a party when she was fifteen, drawn to his kind face, and later trained for two years as a radiographer, which allowed the couple to marry and support themselves. Following the 1976 Soweto riots and fears of civil war, they decided to leave South Africa. They arrived in Denver on May 1, 1978, where the Jewish community and Federation warmly welcomed them, and moved to Dallas on May 1, 1982, where Esme quickly found a lasting circle of friends, many of them fellow South Africans.
In Dallas, Esme and Errol raised their three children, Lauren, Mark, and a third child born in 1988. They sponsored both sets of parents to immigrate to the United States. One of the most meaningful moments of her life came when her deaf father received a newly approved cochlear implant in the late 1980s and heard her voice for the first time in 40 years. Deeply grateful for the opportunities America gave her family, Esme values being a good human being and helping others, and she hopes to pass those values on to her grandchildren.
Full Transcript
Esme 1953 Johanna sburg South Africa let's go back what do you remember when you're a little girl I had a good life I'm growing up in Johannesburg was was very good as kids we were very free to come and go as we please we we didn't have too many worries I grew up in a home where unfortunately my parents were not that happy so I dealt with that kind of adversity but I knew that they both loved me and my brother dearly and they did what the best that they could for us a big part of my life was the fact that my father lost
his hearing when I was about three years old totally lost his hearing and for some reason I'm not sure why I was the one of the few people that he could look read very well and so I became his interpreter and often you know I had to speak but not speak for him because he could certainly speak but interpret what other people were saying to him and I know his life was very frustrating and you know they've put a lot of tension on the marriage because was difficult for both my mom and dad and there was a big part of my life is was helping
my day why don't you dare do for a living he jus de well he didn't have a degree and due to the fact that he was def he was lucky to have a job and he was employed by a South African pharmaceutical company in distribution and my mom always worked most of the time full time she worked for a paint company as their bookkeeper and you know office assistant she was the only one in the office doing whatever and it was necessary and she worked for the same company for 25-30 years don't you remember your grandparents at all I do remember and my father's parents
died before I was born but I'm remember my mother's parents I remember as a little every Saturday my mother would take me on the bus we never had a car so we walked quite a ways to the bus stop we took the bus and we went to visit my grandparents and there was you know a wonderful time for me and they lived in an area called Bertram's and I love to go there and be with them my mother's mother my boba died when I was about six years old which was ten days before my late brother was born so that was a very difficult time
and mize a durar lived until nineteen seventy-nine I think so I knew him very well and he also lived with us for a number of years and he was a dear dear man and I knew that he adored me do you remember what your grandfather's did for a living my grandfather serviced soda machines so the old soda machines and cafes and soda shops is what he serviced those your grandfather passed away before you were born do you know what he did for a living my father's father was in the meat business I think wholesale meat supply and he was also very active in the Hebrew
order of David and some other organizations around town but unfortunately I never I never knew him or my late grandmother now do they migrate from somewhere else or your family start in South Africa know my father's parents came from Russia and my mother's father mazeda came from Lithuania from corner my mother's mother I believe was born in cape town but her parents came from Russia know that they ever tell any stories you know passed out stories about what their life was like that sir countries you know no I never heard about what it was like in Russia but I do remember mazeda telling us that
when they came to South Africa they were very poor of course and his father died and left you know lifts his mother with a couple of children and he was the oldest and he told us stories we're here I don't know what they were up to but he was put outside and had to turn in the Sun head took these big ledger books and had to turn the pages constantly in the Sun to make them look like they were old so I don't know what they were up to but it was interesting distance yeah yeah now you're brought you'd mentioned your brother who has passed
away was he or younger brother older brother he was younger he was six and a half years younger than myself his name was Leonard and you know I have wonderful memories of him unfortunately because I left South Africa we did not see each other for five for five years before he passed away but I do have the last letter that he wrote to me and I remember that our last goodbye at the airport in south africa i remember him hugging me so hard and you know little did we know that there would be the last time that I would see him talk to me about
the grammar school for you what was it like I was always in the one of the top classes but I never found school particularly easy I was never particularly academic but I did find a school you know always had a lot of friends I don't remember anything outstanding about it well now you know you want up coming to America which we'll get into but when you were young was that something you discussed with your friends about eventually coming together I'm not at all was never a neighborhood never never never could have imagined that our lives would take the turn that they did now you know
it's my understanding that there wasn't television when you were young no TV I think we got TV in South Africa 1972 and Errol and I used our wedding money to buy our first television which was a black-and-white TV and we all spend hours looking at just the test pattern is that for such a novelty now you know it's such a prevalent part of our life you know in when you were a young woman there was no television there did you guys were you aware that there was TV elsewhere in the world or wasn't on the radar we I guess we were aware of it but
it wasn't on our radar and what we we listened to the radio a lot and I really remember rushing home from school to listen to my favorites and serials on the radio I think there was one in particular called a town like alice and i used to come home and listen to that and there were many other shows and that we will listen to so the radio was a big part of our lives and of course always the hit parade and music and so on ok high school life high school was good i never went to Jewish day school I went to public schools we
most of the most of the kids were were Jewish and you'd asked me earlier about elementary school and we lived in one neighborhood for a number of years and then for the last year of elementary school we moved to a new neighborhood self was in a different school so I was making new friends and so on but then I went on to high school a lot of the kids were Jewish and but it was not a Jewish day school and it was a good experience yeah and the Jewish community were the holidays important I active in this very we were very strong we had a
very strong Jewish community I mean we were not particularly active in the community per se but our family was very traditional we grew up Orthodox and while we weren't religious we were very traditional so we always celebrated the holidays that was a big part of our lives and the holidays were always together with family for all on tape and so that was very important Wendy my mother but my mother kept kosher so I grew up in a in a kosher home no where did you meet your husband and we met at a at a party I guess in those days we had gatherings which we
called peoples over and a friend of mine it was over in people's over and a friend of Mines brother had called during the week to invite me to the People's over because we usually wanted to have the same amount of boys and girls and they didn't have enough girls and at first I said no because was on a Friday night and I always had shot back to the family but he negged a knife's i said okay i'll go and i went and Errol walked in and when I looked at him the first thing that struck me was that he had a very kind face and
I really like that as it turned out he came and sat right next to me and asked me my phone number and I told him which was the date of the Battle of Hastings so he had to figure that out and then he followed me home and he followed you home or walk you home no no I had come with a friend and the friend's father picked us up because we were not driving until we were 18 and I was 15 at the time so a friend's father took me home but I was aware of this car behind us who stopped higher up on the
street with his lights off and then I went inside and then looked out the window and sure enough his car pulled up and I went out to speak to him and he invited me to go out with him on a date about a week later turned out that he had another girlfriend at the time so after dating us alternately for about two maybe three weeks and I gave him an ultimatum that it's either her or me but I'm not going on with this and you know how the other girl was yeah well I didn't know her personally but he told me her name Oh anyway
so i guess i won and thank goodness after high school what were your plans career college what were you do well ill and I had been dating and I know that my my mother would have done everything possible to send me to college but I knew that it would be certainly would be a financial burden for her and I wasn't sure exactly what i wanted to do anyways I didn't want to waste too many so I ended up going to stay to be an x-ray technologist radiologist a radiographer as we called it in South Africa and so that was two years of training which included
working at the hospital and so I was earning while I was working and that enabled Errol and I to get married because he was doing accounting and he was an articled clock and so he was earning some money too so between us we managed to make it work both families very happy in this marriage I mean his family was glad have you come on board and your family glad to have him and my family were very glad to have him and I think that his mother was not so thrilled with me because I don't think she thought I came from a well-to-do in our family
but I think she changed her mind over time they weren't you guys settle down with young Mary and we lived in a flat as we called it an apartment in an area of Johannesburg called Hillbrow for a while and then soon after we were married my parents actually got divorced and so they each went their separate ways and we actually bought the house that I grew up in and we lived there for about two or three years and then we sold it in anticipation of coming to the United States ok now that decision to come to the United States what precipitated it when did that
even enter the game plan well in 1976 in Johannesburg where the Soweto riots where the population was right was went crazy about the fact that the white government insisted that they take classes in Afrikaans and that was a very very scary time and while Soweto was pretty far from us there was another Township that was much closer to us called Alexandria and there was some rioting there too and it was a very frightening time and we realized that the writing was on the wall and we were really afraid that there would be a civil war in South Africa and we did not want any part
of it we didn't want our children having to grow up and go to the army and fight for something that caused that we did not believe in no so we just we decided to leave it was not an easy easy decision because i did not know how I was going to tell my parents that I was leaving right now were your children born yet we had two children at that time Lauren and mark okay so they were both born in south africa hot how long do they but when we live Lauren was for Mark was 18 months so how do you guys tell your family
that we're leaving um you know it's very interesting our family were generally very supportive but I was very afraid to tell my mother that we were leaving about a year or so before we before we actually left we came to America trying to see where we were going to settle and aryl needed to find a job as that would be his means to get in to find someone who would sponsor him and so I was kind of half hoping he would get a job so that we could come half hoping that he wouldn't so that I wouldn't have to go back and tell my mom
especially that I was going to be leaving well when we got arrived back at the airport in Johannesburg and my mom met us at the airport she told me that a gentleman she had been dating had asked her to get married and so that was just a tremendous relief for me to know that she would not be alone my father at that time was enjoying being single and he had a girlfriend at the time so I wasn't that worried about him that I was very worried about her and so when she told me she was getting married that just you know made it so much
easier for me to leave and as it happened she was only married a short time when her husband passed away which was very sad and so it was kind of very strange because it was almost like that happened to enable us to go never join you in these states my mother stayed in South Africa for many years my late brother was killed in a motorcycle accident in 1985 so in 1986 we brought my father to to the States he moved to the States about the same time actually as Errol's parents came we sponsored all of them to come to the States my mother was working
and had a very active social life there and so she did not come until until 93 oh now we mentioned sponsor can you explain exactly what that means well that meant that the person the good soul who offered arrow the job had to advertise for that position interview other people and then prove why errol was the only one who could do the job and in that way sponsor us and so this very wonderful family mel mel by and his family sponsored us he turned out to be a little crazy at work but we've real forever grateful for them for for what they did for us
now you said though you sponsored your mother well what did that entail well we first of all had to have our citizenship in order for us to be able to sponsor our parents to come and so really we just had to apply as for them to come and to basically sign that that we would be responsible for their financial welfare when you and I made the decision to come to the United States why the United States over anywhere else in the world we did consider going to Israel and we went to Israel to visit but with neither of us being terribly good at languages and
Errol in particular felt that it would be very difficult for him to make a living there and so we decided to come to the States did you have any preconceived ideas about what the United States was and not really not not really I mean I knew it was big and vast and you know hope that they would be opportunity but not much more than that really you arrived in dallas in what year we actually first came to Denver so we arrived in denver in 1978 May first nineteen seventy eight and we were there for four years we moved to Dallas may first just coincidentally which
was also my father's birthday May first of 1982 okay and how did the Jewish community embrace you in Denver the Jewish community was absolutely wonderful the Federation embraced us they had a very act of newcomers program which I got involved in and we had monthly meetings they would welcome all new people on a monthly basis and I made a lot of friends that way and it was just just wonderful i was actually very very happy in denver and in fact got my first job once we got our green card initially I was not able to work but once we got our green cards and I
was able to work and I've got my first job through gentleman who worked at the Federation and I worked for his wife and they were just wonderful to us and I was very very happy in Denver okay and then you came to Dallas I'm assuming because of career changes right a brat how did the Jewish community embrace you hear after spending four years in Denver working hard to make friends I was not particularly happy to move to Dallas and you know didn't want to go through the whole process of making friends all over again but I had quote I called one person just to give
her a gross from someone in Denver just to say hi and we started chatting and it turned out that she went to school with Errol and she invited me over and invited other South African women over with their kids and one thing led to another and I had a wonderful group of friends which I have to this day and your third child was born in Dallas Yeon was born much much later in 1988 okay yes beautiful okay now in your lifetime you've lived through so many you know momentous occasion you know and and I can't think of anything bigger than moving across the water right
is there something though that really stood out in your mind that you really noticed like possibly the moon landing in 69 or of course 911 is there something that really affected you that you really took notice of on the national scene well the moon landing was of course a big deal for us and Kennedy assassination and so on you know most of the main events but the biggest I think the biggest most wonderful thing for me was the technology that was available in the United States when I imagined you earlier that my father was totally deaf and he was totally there for 40 years when
we brought him to the States we found out that the cochlear implant had been newly approved by the FDA and worse he was able to have a cochlear implant I believe it was in the very late 80s and he had a cochlear implant which completely transformed his life while his hearing was not perfect he certainly had hearing I mean he hurts nouns that he never heard before you will he hadn't heard in 40 years I will never forget that when they actually plugged in the implant about six weeks after surgery and he heard my voice for the first time in 40 years it was a
most amazing experience and that gave him a whole new lease on life which was just wonderful so that for me was what had the biggest impact on my life you had mentioned the Kennedy assassination you were back in South Africa no television just radio and newspapers of course how much of an effect did it really have over there did you guys even really notice it or did it matter and it didn't matter but I don't remember I really can't speak to the effect that it had generally but what was very impactful to me was actually the six-day war I remember distinctly rushing home from school
every day to turn on the radio to hear the news of how about war was going that's a six-day war a person Israel in Israel yeah and that that was very impactful to us as in the Jewish community we all felt that there was tremendous fundraising a lot of people went to volunteer to fight in the war into it or to help in some way and to me that was them actually the most impactful event in my childhood now the United States how is it to you guys compared to the rest of the world now is it everything you expected is it more or less
what's your perspective on it well I mean you can go back to when you first came here it obviously it was a culture change it was a complete it was a complete culture change culture shock and interesting that the the the silly things that I was most worried about was how it does how was I going to marry and manage without a maid how was I going to cook and do the washing and take care of the children turned out to be the very least of our problems that we never look back with this country's been very good to us we've loved living here and
we're very very grateful to the United States for giving us the opportunity to make a new lives our children have had the most incredible education and opportunities that we could not have dreamed of now you have the three children and two grandkids right what advice does grandma want to leave knowing how you were raised compared to how they're being raised today what advice you leads to the next generation um I really just want Gabby and maps to be content with what they have to do the very best that they can happen to do the best that they can do take pride in what they do
and just be good human beings just be mention help others where you can and they're delightful little boys and I have no doubt that they're going to grow up into beautiful human beings you did a great job thanks for doing this thank you