Joyce Bernard
Joyce Bernard was born in Bayonne, New Jersey, the same city where her mother was born, while her father was born in Jersey City. Her father worked as a manufacturer's representative for children's clothing, specializing in little girls' dresses, and moved the family to Dallas when Joyce was about two and a half years old, seeking a better life away from the fast pace of the East Coast. Joyce had an older brother, six years her senior, who later settled in Garland. She remembered her parents, Ruth and Lou, as warm, loving people with a wonderful sense of humor who taught her to ballroom dance and shaped her outgoing personality.
In Dallas, Joyce attended Ben Milam Elementary, Spence Junior High, and North Dallas before moving to the Park Lane area and graduating from Hillcrest High School in 1955. She went on to Oklahoma University for two and a half years, where she met her husband, Marty, a Navy veteran, through a mutual connection at Hillel. Joyce built a long retail career, running a children's apparel shop in Richardson for seven years in the 1970s, working for a jewelry and accessories company for five years, spending time at Neiman's, and building a loyal clientele at a children's shop on Lovers Lane for eleven years. Sadly, her father died of a heart attack two weeks before her wedding, and years later her husband suffered a debilitating stroke around age 64, leaving him paralyzed on his right side. Marty lived for sixteen years afterward, and Joyce became his caregiver while also caring for her aging mother.
Joyce channeled her energy into community and Jewish life. She grew up attending Sunday school at Temple Emanu-El in South Dallas and belonged over the years to Temple Emanu-El and Temple Shalom, as well as the National Council of Jewish Women. At the Jewish Community Center she became a beloved volunteer, serving on the board, helping set up lunches, singing in the chorus that performs at senior residences, acting in plays such as The Sound of Music, and belonging to the Couples Club. With two children, Susan and a son, but no grandchildren, she found special joy serving as a surrogate grandmother to the preschool children who called her Bubbe Joyce. Reflecting on her life, Joyce counted her children as her greatest accomplishment and credited good health, a positive attitude, and a sense of humor as the keys to a happy life.
Full Transcript
good morning Jill this is Joyce Bernard and I am Pauline Revere with the Tallis Jewish Historical Society and the date is July 7th 2014 and we're just through the long holiday weekends so good morning Joyce good morning tell me we were just talking earlier and I know that you moved to Dallas when you were two and a half years old now where did you come from and why do you know why your parents decided to come here I moved I don't know the year that I moved here but I have been here most of my life I was born in Bayonne New Jersey as was
my mother my daddy was born in Jersey City and he was a manufacturer's rep for children's clothing little girls dresses and he decided that this was a good opportunity to move down here and start a new life I guess for all you know for the family mm-hmm do you have siblings yes I have a brother that's six years older than I and he lives here in Garland did anybody follow your father into that business actually after my husband had suffered a stroke my son stepped in to the business so as a rep so your father was a ramp yep daddy was a rep first and
yam your husband yeah well later on what up yeah after sometime after we met and so forth okay so do you remember anything about your parents and how they met and why didn't you don't know why they came but well as I say I think they died daddy came because he wanted to make a better life for us you know sure and it was such a rat race back east I'm sure which it still is today I don't know he just wanted a better life for us I suppose and when you came here he's you were living where you went tell me where you went
to grade school again it's Ben Milam great school mm-hmm that's a nice talent and then Spence junior high expense junior high and then North Dallas up until my senior year and then what happened and then we moved over here to Park Lane and I went to Hillcrest which where I graduated from 5555 and went to Oklahoma University for two and a half years after that where I met my husband he had just served four year four years in the Navy and decided to go back to school after the Navy and get a degree in medicine so that's how we met and you said he did
not he became well he didn't finish I guess for a number of reasons but he decided he wanted to be a Salesman which he was very very good at and he loved it loved the traveling and so forth and that's how he made a good living and what did he rip what kind of children's clothing children's dresses Oh sounds like you're fine swimwear there was a time he took a line on someone wear lines and you said that later on he suffered a stroke oh that was some time later quite a while a much later he's been deceased for 14 years and you said your
son took over well he was gonna step in anyway after he graduated from Texas Tech and he did and he's been quite successful - not with the same companies but he is also a traveling salesman it also enjoys it so that's what counts he's liking what he's doing so absolutely absolutely and it's a little rare in these days to find people who traveled anything I know unfortunately there's a lot of mom-and-pop stores have gone by the wayside due to the economy and so on and so forth which is sad but that's what I think one day we'll see a trend of coming back and maybe
maybe one one sort of hopes you are X tell me how did you become so active in the Jewish community I know you are well I I don't know I guess being a hyper person and not going to sit still very long I like to involve myself and being that I don't I have two children a son and a daughter but being that I don't have grandchildren one of the loves I like so much about the Jay is that I'm a surrogate Bubbe during the fall I love that love the kids and they love me and it fills that need - what kind of work
do you do - I'm a volunteer work well I I'm also on the board here I volunteer here I've helped in the in the auditorium setting up for lunches I've done that sort of a volunteer when there's again if there's a board meeting I'm at the board meeting I'm that's about the only volunteering per se that I do here at the Jay so I don't want I'd like to cut myself too thin what do you know we volunteer interact you say the kids love you how do the kids look why do the kids love you well I'm like a typical Bubbe I guess I sit
on the floor with them I play games with them I read to them I hug them somebody's crying I look you know when you go where is the rooms oh yes definitely definitely it's that on a on a continual basis and I hope so I hope so of course they break for summer mm-hmm so what's a typical day for you well right now very very quiet because the kids as I say they're away mm-hmm so but I come to the Jay have a light sure again there may be a meeting of some sort I also belong to the couple's Club here I used to be
secretary here for the couples Club which I did for two years and then somebody else stepped up I wanted to be secretary said fine you know that's fine by me and so I pretty much involve myself here when I can now someone told me that you are also active in taking care of some of the older members of the J well not on a steady basis but I have done I have done that I have a friend that I drive for now I'm the designated driver oh one other thing I forgot to mention I've been in place here at the J and that was fun
a lot of fun time that will continue tell me about them well I was in The Sound of Music I was a nun if you can't imagine a Jewish nun yeah which was I thought was pretty cute pretty funny but I enjoyed that and so I've been I've been in a couple plays here which I really enjoy that I guess that's the ham in me you know well I thought I think that's of course I think that's so much fun it is fun that's a lot of fun I agree and it brings you closer to a lot of people yes there's us it says so
what do you with C and O oh and then now I'm sorry I didn't mean to interrupt you one other thing that comes to mind I am in the chorus here at the J and as a member of that we practice here once a week and then we go to the various senior living residences and sing for them which they love but we practice here every Wednesday in fact we just sang here last week for the for the group here that's Kenny love it people love that you know the older people everybody loves music or most everybody loves music it's a lot of doors business
we can yes it does it really does and one thing I find not only is a J wonderful for camaraderie but there's so many wonderful activities here you know things to do if you want you if you want to do you exercise you coaches I used to have a shame to admit I haven't been exercising for two years a couple of years which I need to do but I'm as active as I can be thank God I'm I can be active you know so I think that's wonderful yeah you obviously look look really good and healthy and well I am now thank God thank God
I am I'm I'm very thankful that I am healthy because I know so many people who are not now it's gonna say something else about the J what more can I say I think it I think that J is wonderful I really do they're not playing me to say that either have you seen a lot of changes in it oh yeah for the better for the better and I made a look there are a lot of acquaintances made here and continue I hope to continue to do that as well as friends of course it's it's a good place for us so when you walk in
the door you feel like you're at home oh absolutely we'll go anywhere no and I think that people have to make an effort to also for that and I've always been a people person I guess because my parents you know were salesmen and they were always you know with the public dealing with the public I've been in Reid I was in retail for many many years my husband as I said was a rep I had a business at one time in Richardson for seven years tell me about a sample shot being that my husband was in the business and I knew a lot of the
reps of the apparel Mart I could I had access to a lot of samples so I had a shoulder shop and where were saying that was in Richardson and I was there in the 70s and I really enjoyed that so in learned a lot from that in the 70s mm-hmm so and for seven years yes why did you I can understand why you went in why don't you go out well business started been getting bad you know so it wasn't funny no the economy started you know sliding downward I don't underst use me and it affected my business of course so I didn't see any
point staying in business if there weren't people coming in to buy for their children or grandchildren as it were so I left there not necessarily in this order but I worked for a jewelry concern here in Dallas called accessory ladies who they are no longer in business and I love that you know all kinds of accessory jewelry medium to more expensive jewelry handbags scarves anything to do with accessories of course I did that for five years then I stopped doing that I worked at Neiman's for two and a half years and from Neiman's I went to children's collection too it was called on Lovers Lane
I was there for 11 years and built up quite a clientele there which I loved also and you gave that up because well because they closed Oh unfortunately oh okay and that's why I'm no longer working plus the fact physically I'm okay but however I can't stand on my feet too long my back begins to really bother me so unfortunately that kind of kills the salesman in me you know I can't do that anymore like I once do but I like people I'm a people person I like to be around people most of the time I like to be around the children of course like
I said and what are some of the biggest challenges that you have faced and in your life and how have you dealt with them well I would say the biggest challenge I faced was when my husband had a stroke that was that was really tough very tough on me it sounds like it we are very debilitating it was and more so on him but more so than me of course but that was definitely a tough time in my life but thank God he I went through some tough times with that but I had support you know emotional support moral support from from his family as
much as could be there they lived back east for a time and then they moved to Florida his parents moved to Florida as did his sister and his brother but anyway that was very tough but like most things she learned from adversity so unfortunately Marty lived for 16 years but it left him paralyzed on his right side so he could no longer drive or work lucky once did and he was very young I think marty was like 64 what had happened and strokes know no age you know it can happen to anyone thank you so I would say that was definitely a difficult time in
my life and so you became his major character of course of course but I was also working at this children's shop I just mentioned so so at a time so when he became what he was able to come home and do things for himself which was quite a long time I mean he was in the hospital for several months I mean he was like a child he couldn't walk he couldn't talk you know it was like starting all over again so it was more of a challenge for him in that regard but after you could do for himself so to speak then he was able
to get around and then you're going to work when I was working a relief and some more or less and then there was a time at that same time my mom was living with us she was not able to care for herself anymore she was not an issue she was wonderful never complained and anyway she was a terrific I was very lucky I had two wonderful parents very fortunate and a wonderful brother and he has three kids that are wonderful my nephews of my niece so I'm very lucky I really very lucky yes very very fortunate you have has major challenges right he had to
leave his work as well as not being able to do anything I left this work which is in itself a major challenge of course but you know you get through these thing any learning hopefully through these things so it made me it may be a better person I think it well a stronger person a stronger person that's right and you're you have children who also live in the North Texas yes yeah my son and his wife live in Las Colinas my daughter and her husband live in Allen Texas hmm neither of them have children unfortunately and that's why I'm so deeply involved here with the
kids that I love and I enjoy that some they so these are the pre-kindergarten and the nurse yes so yes definitely and you have up to five years and they just know that miss Joyce is going to come in do they come what are they calling Bobby Bobby Bobby Joyce and they and the teachers know that you can come in at any time or do you have a sense well I had a set schedule I used to come one day a week from for a couple of hours sometimes just an hour but whenever and I would help them like the kids had like snack time
I'd help the teachers set that up and I as I said before I would read to them which they loved I play dress-up with the little girls who sees me you know and the boys boys I can do as much with but anyway it's a joy it's a joy it fills my heart it really does I enjoyed that a lot you have any suggestions for people who find themselves in the same kind of situation that you did a young a young woman with a youngest young husband relatively speaking here these days people live longer for how to to manage the kind of challenges well the
thing I would strongly recommend first is to get getting involved in a support group I tried that unfortunately it didn't materialize but and I also involve myself when Marty first had his stroke and was going through therapy mm-hmm I would go making a point to go down there and go through the therapy with him so you know see how they what they did to him progress of course there were certain things I I couldn't do I wasn't a qualified person to do that sure but like when he came home I made sure that he would do certain exercises because there was times that I could
bring him home before he was allowed to come home permanently mm-hmm so I involve myself that way too that's it's extremely interesting you know it sounds like you kept yourself so busy again you still keep yourself so busy well it keeps me on and it keeps me you know I think when you're Kim when you keep yourself involved it keeps you physically fit it gives you a reason to get up and do and involve yourself and like I said I've always been a people person I like people and I you know that's just been my personality I've always had friends a lot of friends because
I am outgoing if I may say so myself and I make friends easily easily if I meet a stranger I think nothing is starting the conversation and so well you sound like an extremely busy and a person who knows what she's good at and is doing it you're not sitting around waiting for somebody to come to you no no which is good now you said you had wonderful of parents yes give me an example and they're gonna let a wonderful let me think about their backgrounds well they both had a wonderful personality they they taught me how to ballroom dance and to this day I
love to dance when I can and and they were very loving very open people did your leather work outside the home no well she did for a time when I was in school she would help mine my daddy mm-hmm when I was in college only as I say I was only there two and a half years but she would travel with him on the road you know and help set up at markets because that's what he did do you remember anything about your grandparents not at name unfortunately I don't unfortunately very dogged I'm sad to say I know that the background I was on my
mother's side there my grandmother was Hungarian so I had that to mean I'm sorry to say I never really you know question mother about her background or anything most of us don't we don't think about it um it was just said however I must say my mother was one of five she was the baby my daddy was one of ten children and had to quit school I understand and had to go to work I don't know what he did what he was this back east to New Jersey in New Jersey okay yeah I'm jumping back and forth I know that's how I am booze but
my parents mother as I say was said was born in Bayonne New Jersey and daddy was born in Jersey City mm-hmm and I think they met through mutual friends on a blind date as it were so how did you meet your husband you say I mentioned middle Segel mm-hmm ed Oklahoma University he had just gotten out of the service was going back to get a degree in medicine at that time my roommate just so haven't was dating him so but we would see each other he and I would meet each other or see each other at in one of the buildings language buildings and our
friendship progressed from there yeah there was nothing serious like this between my roommate in Roma and Marty but that's how we met and through hell L you know that association at school and of course the rest is history so it sounds like you're Jewish connections all the way from college and then through your married life it's been your Jewish connection though that have given you your social life and so on of course my parents associations with their friends and their friends children you know did you go to Sunday school action yes I did as a matter of fact I went to Sunday School temple Emmanuel
when it was in South Dallas mm-hmm and I don't know if you remember him or not but rabbi Lefkowitz Oliver show him was officiating at that time he did he marry you no he did not he had passed away but rabbi Olin who married my husband and I unfortunately he said thing here is my father never saw me married he died of a heart attack two weeks before we got married so and I was told at that time you do not cancel a Jewish wedding you know you the marriage goes on so but that was a very sad time for me I was very close
to my daddy I was close to my mom as well but you know the expression daddy's girl yes I was the epitome of daddy's girl so and that follows through even in adult life okay I guess so I guess so but mother and I were also very close after you know after a time but yeah that was a real tragedy that was tough that was very tough hard heartbreaking yes yes but again you come back to your your Jewish roots so yes it gets you through so you've been there temple Emmanuel through rabbi Lefkowitz rabbi Olin rabbi Klein yes yes and lest of all the
all of these and the rabbi's they're right and you're still a member no not any longer actually I fortunately I dropped out I was at one time I was a member at Temple Shalom because the kids were younger at that time so I became a member at that time and involved myself there and that was rabbi who was okay uh that's all Riley takes some thought here I can see him in my mind's eye but I just not Haley not the gentleman that none of the rabbi that's there now Oh although he's a very sweet very lovely man to phoneless state o best sir excuse
me best my best sir I'd write who was new at temple Emmanuel first nope well I don't know I knew best sir at shallow but I didn't know him at Emmanuel mm-hmm he was the sister breath oh I learned to I don't know for how important it is she was a really very sweet man so you know there are very few people there are many people who will go out and involve themselves but you have been a consistent volunteer thank you yeah and I think I gotta say too that a compliment it is I can say a dedicated volunteer is a thing of great value
anyways it's a precious jewel yes it is oh I've left something out I things come to mind so you'll have to bear with me here I was a member of National Council of Jewish women for many years and made some very dear close friends there what mother when we first moved here I remember her being involved in Hadassah daddy wasn't particularly in any gentleman's organ or men's organizations because he was so busy Vienna as a salesman yeah he did belong to probably he did belong to an organization for salesmen but not outside of that you know mm-hmm those so he could go to a meeting
and be with his peers that's right and yeah in fact at one time I think he was president of what's the name I think it was nachus it was the salesman's organization some sort so what advice do you have for and we've we've done pretty well what kind of advice do you have for people who come in to come into Dallas there well I would definitely say involve yourself religiously socially you know socially join like what you have here the Jenni which is wonderful mm-hmm and getting you know involved that way and that in itself gets like an introduction to other people other resources organizations
I would highly recommend them get involved religiously and socially you know any way you can excuse me I am I'm just looking to see if I missed anything here I'm trying to you know outside of the Jewish connections Joe what were there any other interests did you go into the Dallas who would who would be who would bathe the people who you'd like to have interacted with are there any people who you've read about Dallas people who would have been a special pleasure for you not necessarily no I can't think of anybody off the top of my head what any mother example I'm sorry go
on first I was just gonna say who were you thinking of somebody's specific no I mean you're you know I think of Annette Strauss who was yeah I knew all huh but I never met her what was gonna say to you oh this you might find interesting Mitchell rozanski and I graduated from Hillcrest at the same time when it's a graduated class he married a very sweet lady who happens to be a cousin of the gentleman that I've been seeing for the last 14 years we're we're like Miss buck and Mitchell was on the Dallas Board there you know yeah very much involved there so
that read it agree do you know rozanski yeah sure sure Laura Miller is also related to this person I've been saying for 14 years yeah so you know what it's a small world that's all I can tell you it is you know and if you stay in the Dallas Jewish world you can find a lot of employment regardless I think we're all connected now what about your kids are they connected into the Jewish world I don't think as much as they once were you know for whatever reasons is it because of where they live do you think no no not so much that well maybe
that's a factor logistically maybe mm-hmm in their choice I mean I think they had they had exposure to the Jewish religion I was never that part of modern religious I did we we did celebrate holidays sometimes jointly with my brother and his family at that time you know during when the kids were younger mm-hmm but as far as their affiliations I don't believe Susan my daughter is more in tune to being involved in her in our religion than my son is and that's you know that's their choice that's right you know I'm not pushing anybody to do anything so and both their spouses are not
Jewish my son-in-law is not and my daughter-in-law is not which makes very little difference to me I just want my kids being healthy and happy his expression goes and they seem to be and that's all that matters choice yeah what would you say you were the most proud of looking back at your life and I think my children proud of my children that's that's my greatest I don't know exactly how to put it but that that that to me is an accomplishment raising two children think it's not easy raising two children especially when you have a husband that's working of course in those days mother
stayed home which i think is very important and raise the children but there are a lot of times that he wasn't around for support like the men are today now when he had his stroke were there any kids still living at home no thank God they were on their own hmm I mean I had their emotional and moral support of course but neither of them were living at home yeah well that also helps oh absolutely absolutely yeah whenever there's a tragedy you always look to hopefully look to your family for support and friends which were also very supportive I think every your whole attitude is
delightful thank you and that's your cutest success having a good attitude and I think I get that too for my mom she was wonderful she really was a wonderful lady terrific in every way it sure makes life happier there does it does it really does so I'm very lucky I had wonderful parents I have wonderful children but I think my greatest greatest accomplishment was my two children and being in business but you taught me a lot and a lot about myself very wise and obviously a very successful life well thank you so far as I say health above everything does my you know dear price
don't forget a sense of humor a sense of humor attitude and a sense of humor and good health you can't beat it not necessarily in that order but my parents had a wonderful sense of humor really she's my mom was terrific my friends even remember her being quite funny what was her name Ruth Ruth were there were there okay Ruth and Lou were there and yeah what about your husband did he have that kind of sense of humor he had a sense of humor but not not quite as gregarious yes as my parents and your parents lived too how old let me think mother would
have been 90 had she lived she's been gone 14 years she would have been 90 and daddy unfortunately died of a heart attack like I said earlier he was 58 55 it was very young Mary yeah that was that was not a happy time for any of us no well but this is delightful and we are going to put you up on Oh daughter website but when I'm not sure you get my good side Thank You Joyce Thanks minutes you like to thank you very much for your time you