Shirley Tobolowsky
Shirley's parents were both born in Romania and were childhood sweethearts. Her father, a poor but gifted scholar, earned a scholarship to a university in Germany before leaving for the United States to avoid army service, arriving at Ellis Island. Her mother followed about a year later. They found one another through the Yiddish newspaper the Jewish Daily Forward, which Shirley likened to the social media of its day, and reunited in Chicago among relatives. There they raised three daughters and insisted all attend college. Shirley studied art history at the University of Michigan, and her older sisters attended Northwestern and the University of Chicago.
After graduating, Shirley spent about two years in Los Angeles working for an art studio but never felt at home there. In 1950 her sister Billie, who lived in Dallas, invited her to come stay with family, and Shirley found the city calm, warm, and welcoming. Soon after her arrival, Adeline Harris was persuaded to introduce her to young attorney Edwin Tobolowsky. The match proved a good one, and the couple married a few months later. Coming from a conservative and Orthodox background in Chicago where women were not taught Hebrew, Shirley found her transition to Temple Emanu-El enlightening, learning much from its rabbi.
Shirley devoted herself to community service, serving as president of the Temple Emanu-El Sisterhood and remaining active in the National Council of Jewish Women and the Jewish Federation. She took part in a Panel of American Women, sponsored by the American Jewish Committee, that brought together women of different backgrounds to promote understanding during the era of desegregation. Recognizing that little attention was paid to the aging, she built coalitions among Jewish and community organizations, ran educational seminars on issues facing the elderly, and organized a brown-bag project helping seniors understand their medications with the help of doctors and pharmacists. In her later years she remained active with an educational mentoring project called CHIPS.
Full Transcript
today is Monday June the 10th 2013 and I will be interviewing for the Jewish Historical Society Society the Dallas Jewish Historical Society surely Tobolowsky and the videographer here is Ruth Andrus so we'll begin hi Shirley we'll start from way back okay where were your parents from and they were bring it up to powdercoat my parents both were born in Romania in 1890 and 1893 they were childhood sweethearts and they lived in the same general area my father was poor and lived very simply but was a great scholar and talked to himself into the University of Munich getting a scholarship and of course they it cost
him a lot because they referred him always to the Jew tutor my mother on the other hand their family had a ranch and she worked in the right store and so as time went on after they married they were very much afraid that he would have to go into the army so one day he just took a briefcase and got on the ship said he was going out of trip to the United States on business and that's how he got out and then she a year later became a tourist and but she just sort of snuck on wearing every bit of clothing she had plus
the tapestry that she had made and she got on somehow and you've lent her what but what it much I have those ships what life was like how they survived but similar that's a time and a length of time and today eaten a slave there was the facilities but they have both made it one you know a year before the other and my father got to Ellis Island and got to all that and his name was Jacob rich and which was pretty simple they didn't have to do anything with the name and because my olives made she got changed and what was interesting is that
in those days people found each other they went to New York and there was this great newspaper called the Jewish forward and in the Jewish forward everybody could find their relatives they would leave notes in Yiddish we are where are you looking for Jacob rich looking for her Annie Goldfarb listen this is your uncle come to such and such a place it was wonderful it was the Google of our time of their time I mean it was a really social media and they found each other and this rotted made sure that my father got to Chicago which is where he had other relatives in the
Ferguson as' and so that's where he landed him my mother found him of course the same way and they in for business together for a while although after a while of course she started having children so that took care of that but the first thing she wanted to do was learn English so she went to night school to learn English he already did know what and their neuro and life was to raise their children to go to college that was a great necessity how many children well first they started out with two little girls lolly and then six years later Billy and I was not
yet born three of us all together they were able to get back to Romania in 1925 to visit the family and they took the same of the little girls and I'm the ship back they say that that was when I was conceived and so that's probably what I like to travel [Laughter] anyway they lived a good life in Chicago Shekhar was kind of a crazy town but we did have a very easy life there and of course all three girls had to go to college that was mandated so my older sister went to Northwestern my middle sister went to nurse where a University of Chicago
and I went to University of Michigan and after that I went to uh Los Angeles my older sisters you wanted to go there to live and I found it horrifying it was right after the war and I don't think there was a single native Californian both places it was absolutely horrifying you didn't know who was what and where they came from and you so after two years when my sister Billie who was living here in Dallas invited me to come and be with family maybe babysit a little bit in 1950 I came here and that was such a difference in the way of lives and
and the people he met there were natives there were people that were literally born in Dallas you know and that was such a joy and people were so kind and it was a very calm atmosphere everybody took it alive she gave me presents I was world terrific and and they love people and then of course somebody always is a sign to the new girl in town to introduce her to the guys right so Adaline Harrison ravenson Harrison was assigned very reluctant they have my math admit she just had done this too much and this is one more person I'm not gonna do it but she
did it so she introduced me to Joe headland Tobolowsky who was a young attorney and indeed it turned out to be a very good match and so a couple of months later we really married and addling said that it would cost me a thousand dinners because of that introduction so I paid it back many times many times 100,000 dinners but it was it wasn't good you know it was a good match and do you want me to go from there um well I'm wondering was your husband born in Greece he was born in Dallas he was because when yes I was wondering with your family
religious which is Jews my husband's family were sheriff is growing and they were two fareth Israel and they were really quite religious when but they didn't have a religious school so they went heaven to go to religious schools so that's when they Joe and so they bound off three congregation sexually well what about you were you I guess they asked my parents were what they were religiously oriented and whether they belong darkly to the Orthodox and also the conservative congregations in Chicago and I was confirmed but in those days they didn't teach women Hebrew all you could get was a confirmation and that was about
it but I was confirmed there in college what did you what was your major art history just writing up listening so were you able to put it to work well I worked for a while in Los Angeles for an art studio but as I said I wasn't comfortable there I we did make some good friends but it just didn't feel good so when I came back when I came to Dallas I I got a job here very shortly but it didn't last very long because I became engaged in so that was that and I to mark he's where the Antitrust Division in Washington DC and
Emily you know as a judge of a certain court here she's amazing fruit cake year what what were their Jewish affiliations in Chicago well we belong to Temple on Sheehan that which was a very big conservative ratification and that's where I was confirmed and my folks had a small sure that they used to go to the method I holidays so we walked there to buy a holiday for the holidays but there was a great rabbi by the name of Solomon Goldman who was the rabbi that Janet and it was a very good orator enough I learned a lot from him but not knowing any Hebrew
everything was a needle in those days I didn't get as much Jewish education as I did with what I came here that's well when I came here and he was a member of technical manual I became a member temple Emmanuel and of course what was an Englishman rabbi Lefkowitz was about to leave and remember all and then he came the rabbi and he's the one that taught me everything that I thought I needed to know or at least beginning to know and so that's a big difference between conservative or Orthodox going to Temple an annual it was not as big a difference as you can
imagine yes it was enlightening to know what the prayers really were about what the sermons really meant when they were talking about what was happening in the world and so I found it a very easy transition because I never felt that I knew that much coming from them that been something that worked it out black wrong language yes so that really would it wasn't very hard as Dallas hello how miss Dallas changed for you since the 50s well in the 50s of course it was a little lazier town although at that time a lot of people were coming in you know the doctors and lawyers
and textile people all found Dallas and so when I first was lived here a question was mostly Dallas sites then of course a number of other people came and so it it became - it changed because it became a different tone when there were other people from other areas and Dallas today is certainly different from the dust in 1950 when I first came here it's a much more sophisticated town is much more I would say political it's certainly as many many things that we didn't have them in terms of apartments in restaurants and limited amount of theatres and not that much about while together in
the arts in Dallas the arts were in Fort Worth they weren't in Dallas and so today you know we're beginning today in an arts district I think that's a long way to go and the political scene is quite difficult I think and it wasn't in the 50s well in the 50s that was different in the 50s it was quiet but things were happening behind the scenes and because it was you know it was the beginning of the Republican Party in the state of Texas and there was a reflection here in Dallas of that feeling and the conservative aspect of it now Dallas was always conservative
but this was a inure group people that began to form the Republican Party pizzazz you know what else Texas was always democratic and so I went on the time of course of the assassination it was a very very dark time and there was a lot of fear and people didn't trust the government it was just so much going on remember the other right and I had my own little example of that because my kids were after Craig look TT school one I thought would be good to be part of the PTA everybody's supposed to do that and our friends began to notice that there's the
same people were heads of PTA every year the same people got reelected where their friends got reelected and we began to wonder why and doing further digging we discovered they were afraid to let any of the Jewish students mothers and fathers in because they were going to be bringing in federal aid to education and they were so afraid that it would be integrated and the government would come in and run the schools that was happening at that space that was that early movement and so but we got a little coalition together and we determined that wasn't gonna hold and so of course somebody had to
agree to be President so it was me so I agreed to be President if if elected and it was you know a unanimous election people began to understand and work together and and and the fence never did come so everything was really okay but that was sort of the feeling they were very fearful and they were fearful of people from other ethnic backgrounds so at that time I was part of a panel of American women which was a group started by American Jewish Committee and was made with women however the head of it was Caroline told me includes no parallel Clark and what we did
is we had a african-american woman Hispanic woman a Catholic woman the Jewish woman and of course an anglo-saxon and with godless smaller towns and talk about ourselves we thought that was an introduction to the fact that everybody has the same concerns everybody has kids in school whether you're black or you're Jewish I had one funny thing somebody came up to me and said I didn't know Jews could have red hair some had never met a dude and a lot of you certainly didn't personally know any blacks and so it was an interesting time now that has changed of course we've come a long way from
that if you're talking about what's happening now but look that was forever and this is the late 50s early yeah this was at that time it was yeah right about that time yeah a a question that I always ask did you meet with any anti-semitism you know over anthis not the other stuff yeah only in the sense that I was quite aware of it the country clubs would say you know what we're not burning Jews I knew that and of course I would say that that was the most overt I mean you knew there was there or maybe that was convert but it was there
there are certain clubs that just didn't have Jews it didn't allow Jews and there were certain groups of people that did not socialize that much with other Jews with Jews and this was kind of after five sort of situation where they were belonging to other churches there were Catholics in those days that wouldn't even go into a temple into a synagogue now that of course has changed to again there's there's much more integration religious integration oh I in recent times I had not felt that any any real anti-semitism I thought that much more when I was living in Chicago that was really oh yeah that
was there tell me about that well we lived across the street from the Catholic family and I was just a little kid and they used to throw stones at me and say you know rain rain go away come on Jewish guy holiday that kind of thing and yeah there were people that you know would not associate at all of the Jews and their apartments that would not let juice they would advertise no Jews or dogs allowed so I knew it what anti-semitism really was and that I didn't see that kind of thing here nuts are awful of anti-blast a discrimination when I first got here
I was shocked to see that the whites only for you know phones and bathrooms that was horrified to me tell me so you first got involved with the community through youth actually the PTA well what we worked into you know the group that had the Jews okay I do a Catholic eleven but what was the thing that pair of American women handle of America women yeah that was all part of my desire for life worried about the fact that we needed to come together and that desegregation of time was very difficult to hear and my kids were in public schools but they graduated from those
who were right before all the changes came and that but there was a lot of concern about the other organizations I mean you're pretty famous and this part of the world but what just couldn't say no that's why I know what war did you what became your interest after panel well what happened was I was surrounded my sister was president a sister right but the husband was president of Jewish Family Service and later became president golden acres I mean I had no chance I had to slip in I had to do something and I did want to do something so I also became president sisterhood
it was very active in that press and active in National Council of Jewish women I was you know the head of the Leominster for the Federation but and there were other things of course that I did committees and so on but I guess what really drove me eventually to do something more specific was the fact that I began to see that nobody was paying any attention to the aging population herb sure dr. herb sure was a great influence on that and Edwin as well he used to say everybody likes to take care of those little kids everyone for us to do something for those darling children but nobody wants to do something for the older person who has many needs and I began and I saw that it was really true visiting at corn acres qalaat room there were no family members that came to visit the idea is that you know there are a lot of people couldn't get around who had health needs who had you know just there all the needs of the children had the hundred people
had as well so what my answer to that was to try to get these organizations that I was very much a part of together to see to if we could build coalitions and try to educate people about what the needs of the elderly were and so I've written down so these seminars that we gave wait until you to know like Marilyn chair well we talked about crime against the elderly abuse neglect and exploitation myths and realities there was just so many things that the proper use of medications that was the last thing that we we had a brown-bag project this was on the path of
Jewish women it's my daughter's how I turned it off no it's mine Oh buddy about bringing those coalition's together and that is I mean we had a hundred percent attendance quality organizations from the DNA and seniors citizens of Greater Dallas in this community council and cjw sisterhood Women's Council they all came and their staff when they had staff came to my house and the real secret was we met at four o'clock in the afternoon and I served sangria and we never missed a single day but we got a lot done and the last thing I started to tell you that I haven't specifically involved in
was this whole idea of the proper use of medications without a doubt and we thank you we all know that there are many people who do not understand their own medications there many people who do not know how to use it or what they're for and so what we did was we organized a brown-bag project where we asked people who came from service centers they centers that the government was to come to the center and bring a bag English every book every day of the occasion boxes or bottles that you take are in that bag so that we could sit and console with them and
there were bags this big you know just huge with medications that work fifteen years old medications that are borrowed from their neighbor it was it was a revelation and because they didn't know better and then and on the bottles there was nothing about what it was that's date on this what that particular time safeguards was really just about of when we did that really only about this what happened so I'm sure it was only about three years ago three or four years ago and what we how we helped the situation was we got pharmacist to help us to help people understand about the medications we've
got doctors to come in and also educate people about it we talked weaves in postcards to their own doctors asking them to please let them know what it is they're taking and why they're taking it we've got wonderful cooperation really did a doctors wanted help and the pharmacists were the greatest because they know the most about medications and I think that we did make some imprint because we did get some of these companies to write in a big block letters on the bottles how to take them what it was how don't you know what hours of the day you take them or how many times
you take them and so that was a very good project and it went on for quite a while and we hope that it's still going on in people's homes so that was the last project I did but I haven't stopped I still do things like well right now I'm involved in an education project and it's called scholarships and what it is is it's an education project that involves people who are in the fields of Technology and science and arts and no other other kinds of activities who are really role models for kids these are people who have established themselves that I could read you some
of the names to review and know all the names of these kind of people and what we have put together with the help of my neighbor who is the head of this project is her name is Victoria downing is it's an interactive media project live where we get these people who are heads of these wonderful organizations who would do so much good for you know Peter technologists or they can be great scientists we've had coca-cola cloud via the monkey you know his his trainer we've had all of these people come to two studios and then we have through technology been able to get to the
two seven schools in Dallas in California to get kids to ask these people questions about how did they get to be where they are what's it like to be a head of something and most of the started out just like all these kids and so it's a the idea is for them to to have low levels in to further their education so they can get to be where they are and the kids have loved it because now you know Duff did they head of Disney to be you know able to talk to people that are way up there in doing wonderful things how do the
kids the kids are mostly middle school in high school and so they each get each school gets a chance to ask more questions and they prepare in advance and it's just such a thrill for them to to actually ask you got what that was you know there we have some black people who have done some wonderful things we have Hispanics we have angles of course and women and it's just been a wonderful project so that's kind of where I am right now and this would be just a woman's project not men well the role models are men to notice and we have yes we have
a group of people that are committing but the Victorians my neighbourhood lenses is the one who is the moderator and she of course is the one that has started this project it was based the reason it's called chips it was based on the land that created the chip kilby and and he was a very sad satellite I guess I would put very quiet man who never got recognized really recognized until recent years for developing the chip which is the whole heart of the technology of today oh yeah yes he worked for ti and one summer he discovered this chip and they didn't know what they
had and they sort of you know let him go he moved on and Victoria this is my neighbor heard that nothing had been done to honor this man and so she developed a whole foundation in his honor and all of the foundation has come this project and that's why it's called the chips and so it's you know that there's so many things to do in this cut in this country this world the city there does so many opportunities still to do you know we had a lot of reusing a lot of the reasons we could do so much during a particular women didn't work in
those days and so they were interested in volunteering today it's harder to get volunteers because everybody's so busy and the other mothers are so busy they're working they've got the activities for their kids so and it's her and harder to get people interested but people still want to do something it's just they want to do the short range things the kind of things that over a short period of time well I would call you a career woman with all thing you know I mean with with all these things but what impresses me is you're finding the need you're very creative you're really very creative well
we had a lot of wonderful people the thing I've always found to be the most effective is getting your boards and your staff together I know organizations in the past would have some kind of separation the staff would do the work and the volunteers would just say get a RNA that doesn't work and you have to honor your staff the way your honor your volunteers and and that's really how things happen because vision comes from both and so if there's anything I've learned it's to really done that that combination of staff and board it volunteers do you have any definite role models I guess maybe
your husband well my husband my sister who is you've never done anything don't you yeah she was working for Sheila's very Anton and she was one of these visionary sisters and her charm for sure right now I very active with the senior sourcing my Bothan is chair of that it used to be senior citizens of Greater Dallas it's called the senior Soros and it's an organization that deals with all the issues concerning seniors it's a great great organization and she's a wonderful leader and so I learned a lot from her and work with her and at all of these organizations DNA of them they're they're
do wonderful work and it's just as you know there's not enough to go around not enough money not enough people to doing other things that have to be done so we all know that well like I said I consider you a career woman have you had time to have any hobbies other than e'er career well that's very okay but yes I love you know I love art but I don't them not hers but I Lamar you know our institutes and museums that I like to read a lot and but I don't so I don't play bridge I don't play mahjong I'm a social outcast it
sounds like a pretty pissy but you know of course we all our friends are always important getting together with friends always that part you